Siren's Enthrall
by SilverReplay
Summary: I don't know what's worse. My fear of the ocean, or my fear of losing you. MakoHaru/HaruMako


_**Siren's Enthrall**_

Disclaimer: I own nothing. And I'm pretty sure I'm not making any monetary profit off of this.

Drabble for actualodinson's 30 Day Dark Fandom OTP challenge

Day 10: 10/10/14

**Prompt: Fears; phobias**

_Summary: I don't know what's worse. My fear of the ocean, or my fear of losing you. MakoHaru/HaruMako_

...

Sometimes, it comes back to me, a flash of gold, the swish of fins, I would remind that kind smile, the soft white whisker-like fuzz and salt and pepper hair. And then I would be drowning. Brown streams of light would swim around me, impaling other nameless and faceless bodies as I try and gasp for air. But I couldn't. I was trapped. And the crash of waves, the warning squawk of a seagull, and the dozing sun after a long day, any and all others would trap me back into that nightmare. The warm salt breeze would cause me to freeze. The soft feel of sand underneath my feet would feel like a thousand ants crawling up my body, under my clothing, digging into my skin and eating me from the inside out. The quiet splashes of water against sediment would send a shiver down my spine. This fear, this phobia, consumed me, and it drove a wedge between the two of us.

_Thalassophobia_: a persistently intense fear of the sea.

In our childhood, nothing could separate us. And then, there was that typhoon. It didn't just kill people, destroy homes, decimate towns, and steal hopes and dreams. It broke our bond, our shared love for water. Because, I don't love it anymore. I feel sick with every stroke, I feel faint with every cool sensation rubbing against my body. I feel, I feel like I can't do this anymore. But I do. Only because your love, for some reason, grew.

You never told me why, but I think it was Rin who energized and brought your talent and potential to the next level. You always took swimming as mere recreation, never putting your full effort into it. And yet, every stroke of your body, every kick of your feet, every cord of your muscles coiled and tense, releasing and tightening as you shoot through the water as if you were a dolphin, as if you were born to be in the water, as if it was your life force. And then, that spark in your eyes, they began to draw from the sea itself. You were beautiful.

You are my siren.

It was like the fabled song of the entrancingly dangerous ocean, a mystery that can never we unfolded. I couldn't stay away from the one thing you love the most.

And it's a double edged sword. You love water more than anything. I swear that you have not blood, but pure water in your veins. And Rin, he was the one who opened your oceanic eyes to the sea and all of its tales. Thus, your fascination, no obsession, with that red haired shark.

And I'm left to pick up the pieces when he left.

And I'm left to piece you back together shard by shard.

And I'm left to watch as only an after-image of you is constructed.

That love, so innocent and pure, is gone, replaced by a mad fixation on the one thing that granted and stole equally and unfailingly.

I wonder sometimes, if you ever found out that I love you, how would you react?

Because then you might find out that I hate water.

I hate swimming.

I hate the one thing that you love the most.

How would you react?

I tried to get over my fear of the ocean.

I tried to feel that same hope and passion you carry in your heart.

I tried to enjoy the feel of slicing through water stroke by stroke and letting that sensation wash over you like a breeze on a warm summer day.

I tried.

I tried…

But I can't.

And I don't think I ever could.

I seize up.

The fear strangling me alive.

I begin to lose color.

I begin to lose faith.

I start losing it.

I start going insane.

I can't stand the water.

I can't stand the pain.

The water, it stole too much from me.

That kind grandfatherly fisherman

Those pair of goldfishes

The people drowning in the waves

And you, Haru.

The water stole you from me.

I don't know what I fear the most.

The Ocean

Or

Losing You

...

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10/30 Days done~

-SilverReplay.


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